depression.

i haven’t written for a long time and i keep telling myself to buckle down and do it so here i am. we have had a very busy april and now it’s almost the end of it. I wanted to just write a little piece this morning about depression, which is somewhat of a taboo subject among us. I decided this morning to just be humble about this and write to you like you are sitting next to me while we drink coffee.

I was diagnosed with severe depression after dad died in 2013. I don’t think i went in right away after he died but kind of just lived along until after we moved to Michigan, where i was diagnosed and started a medication for it. It’s interesting to see how people react when they find out you take medication for depression. Some people tell me they believe if you are depressed, you have something spiritually wrong or are trying to quiet your conscience. I feel my depression is caused by deep sadness and my brains inability to cope with the loss of something important. Some people’s depression is caused by something else: life changes, the world around us, loss of a loved one, sickness, family issues, inferiority, being unable to have a child, etc. It is no respecter of persons. All walks of life experience varying degrees of depression and it is not abnormal. I fully believe God can help heal depressed minds or feelings. I also believe the medication i take enables me to see a little more clearly what the ultimate goal is. I do not take it to replace a need in my life, or to replace my conscience. I’ve had friends shame me quite publicly for depression itself. I am not ashamed of it. My life has been a very different journey than theirs. If you have never been depressed, it would be hard to understand. But for those of you who have been depressed or fight it every day, I love you. I understand. I know the feeling of the cloud that just covers everything. I know the feeling of wishing to be invisible so nobody can see your faults and worse, the feeling that maybe you ARE invisible. Text me sometime and let me know you’re low so i can pray for you. It’s a battle nobody should face without God and friends.

That all said, my month felt off because of different things. It seemed like i’d have a bad day and God would send an open door for me to give of myself and it would cheer me up. Some of the highlights since the last post: Saturday the 13th folks and Reubens came for burgers. An excellent evening. Wednesday the 17th we went to Geneo’s for supper with Jakes and Jons. I went home and did a yarn project afterwards and Morgan went to basketball. Friday the 19th we went salmon fishing with Jon&Alicia and Dad Kevin. Our group limited out and none of us got seasick so that was a plus! Madi and some friends came out to our place over Easter so we had a grand time for several days. Explored San Francisco Saturday which I can never get enough of. Easter lunch we all had at folks. I think Mom served 40 people that day! We had taco truck for supper with Jake&Hannah and the kids went to the Peasters later after church. Wednesday evening the 24th Morgan made supper YAY and Hayden and Levi came over for supper before they went to ball. After they left we went to Jons with Bennys and Grandma of Jon. Friday night was the Grace Home benefit in the evening. We helped folks fry catfish again this year so you could have catfish or brisket for supper. I peopled out pretty quick but we stayed for part of the auction at least. Saturday Morgan went to pick up Harry Peters for Ty&Charity’s reception in the evening. I met them for lunch at John Martin’s appreciation lunch in Winton and then i went to sherri’s and swam and spent the afternoon forgetting my cares. Morgan went to the reception in the evening. Sunday we had lunch at folks and went to Livingston in the evening for the Grace Home speech and stuff. Today was our field trip to Monterey Bay Aquarium. It was a swell day and I thought again how much I’m gonna miss my kids!♡

I hope you all have a wonderful week. We’ve been having some 95 degree days already so summer’s definitely coming! Another sad/exciting bit of news.our friends Justin&Shenda are moving far away to Georgia, but leaving their house open for rent so Morgan and I are going to be renting their house when they leave mid May. Year end program, practice, packing up at school, packing up at home, and moving are all happening in the next month. think of me. xo, chey

1 thought on “depression.

  1. I have family members that struggle with depression so even though I don’t, I do understand just a tiny bit of what you go through. Although, I am just a listener I have the utmost empathy for them. 😊

    Like

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